You need to be brutally honest with yourself and your partner. That’s the very first you must address, because it is the most important element when beginning any long distance relationship.

There are two types of long distance relationships - initial separation and mid term separation. The first is when you start out long distance - this is what I did - then eventually plan to come together. The second is when you or your partner has to leave for an extended period of time after a relationship has been established.

Photography by SuicideGirls.

There is another type of long distance relationship, in which the couple can almost certainly never meet together or have a real life relationship with each other. While I don’t look down on those that have this type of relationship, there is only so much you can do while you are a distance apart. If there is no intention to physically consummate the relationship, it seems to only give more stress and frustration on each couple’s part, as well as denying them a chance to go after a relationship that they can pursue.

Humans are a social animal and not ever being able to move the long distance relationship to the physical level denies almost too much in the person’s life for it to be workable. Love knows no bounds, and I salute you if you are in this type of relationship, but a good percentage of the time these types of relationships are simply casual Internet encounters that have no chance to progress to anything more meaningful, and are often destructive on the emotions of those involved.

Initial Separation

Initial separation is both easier and harder than the second type for a variety of reasons. You won’t have as bad a sense of longing as you do if you had to separate after a period of time with your partner.

However, you will be anxiously awaiting the day where you can see each other, feel each other, have wild orgasmic sex with them… and it can drive you quite batty. For both types of relationships, think of your last normal relationship, then add in communication problems, arguments over trust issues, long hours of staring at a calendar, pent up emotions, and a plethora of other issues that, while not unique to long distance relationships, are often compounded by them.

Mid Term Separation

For the second type of long distance relationship, mid term separation, you’ll often find yourself beset by loneliness and a wish that they could be by your side once more. Regret about past arguments and annoyance over certain habits will sometimes crop up as well. You’d be willing to put up with anything you couldn’t stand about them before, just to have them back with you. Long distance relationships are not all doom and gloom, however.

Sometimes stronger communication, trust, and an overall more committed relationship comes about because of long distance.

Communication is number one in both types of long distance relationships, and many times it’s a problem in every type of relationship. With the heavy focus on honest talking and open discussion, you can build the grounds for a much stronger relationship when you are together once more.

Making Your LDR Work!

You also might want to keep in mind that it’s not as dire as long distance relationships have been in years past. Cell phones, the Internet, and web cams help out with lessening the impact of being miles apart.

If you are lucky, you will have some time to visit and be together even during your time apart. Make these visits count! Go to your favorite places, have spectacular sex, be as romantic as you can, and just lose yourself in the moment. Don’t spend the entire time dwelling on the fact that they have to leave once more.

Life throws many challenges at you, so just grin and bear it. Your patience, persistence, and perseverance (I am running out of p words!) will reward you once your loved one is back in your arms… and bed.

There are a number of ways to take the pain of a long distance relationship away, and at bay. Distracting yourself from your partner’s absence is key - you don’t want to be moping around, as this can have a negative impact on your personal and professional life. So whether it is you that’s leaving for a new place, or your partner, there’s a number of steps you can take to avoid loneliness.

If you think I’m going to suggest getting a bit of fun on the side (and I know you know what I mean!) forget it. You aren’t faithful enough to this relationship to make it work if you jump on the first person that walks by after your partner leaves.

Next post I will have a few tips for when you’re staying on the home front.

Technorati Tags: long distance relationship, Long Distance Relationships, relationships, ldr, romance

Tags: long distance relationship, Long Distance Relationships, relationships, romance, separation