With BDSM, there is a focus on power play. So what do you do if you get your kicks by being dominant? The first thing you need to understand is just because you are dominant, doesn’t mean that you cannot listen to your sub. In fact, that would make you a horrible Odom, and would curtail your BDSM activities rather fast.
Photography by FoxTongue.
Being dominant means knowing your sub as well, or better, than you know yourself. You also need to trust your sub - both to allow you the power and dominance, and telling you when they do not want to play anymore, or if they are pushed to their limit. Power and compassion are not disparate, no matter how many movies you might have seen with cold dominatrices.
I’m going to go on the assumption that your sub is your partner as well. You should both have a high level of communication to begin with, but if not, you’ll definitely want to improve your communication with each other before continuing farther into BDSM. If not, you are going to have complications and difficulties.
When starting out, be very slow with introducing new ideas. I’ll discuss how to introduce BDSM to your partner in more detail later, but for now, try to add just one thing at a time. Maybe some handcuffs on night, a whip the other - the possibilities are endless.
You will also need to understand the line between dominance in the bedroom and in domestic life. Some subs want to be completely servile to you, while others separate it into the bedroom only. This is why communication is necessary and important.
BDSM relationships are more open in general, and you’ll need to be very open to the wants and needs of your sub. While you have the power as a dominant, you need to remember that they granted you the power over them, and that they also have power over you as well - hence the phrase power exchange.
As a dominant, you’ll need to understand the effects of different actions upon your sub, as well as what safe words and thresholds of pain they use and can handle. If you are doing any type of bondage, make sure that you know how the knots work, and to have scissors to quickly undo the knots in case of problems. Having a first aid kit around is a good idea as well. If you keep these tips in mind, and be honest, open, and communicative with your sub, you should have many fun times ahead.
Technorati Tags: BDSM, bondage, dominant, fetish, kink, sm, submissive
Tags: BDSM 101, bondage, dominant, fetish, kink, sm, submissive
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